Why Did I Do It?

Today was the worst day of my life. I totally embarrassed myself in class when I burst into tears in the presence of all my classmates. Moreover, the shame I experienced was doubled because it was also my first lesson and I just had to present the weaker side of me to my new classmates, giving them a bad impression of me. Even though I knew that first impression was of great importance, I still blew my chances of impressing them when i cried and sobbed. However, ultimately I did manage to leave a deep impression, though it was negative instead of positive. And all this happened to me just because i did not know the words to "The Star-Spangled Banner" and was chosen to lead the class in singing it. Now, as I once again thought of the disgace and embarrassment i felt, images of what I have previously done flooded my mind, and along with it, were waves of guilt and regret that seemed to rush through my mind spontaneously. And for the first time, I reflected on my actions and asked myself one question, "Why did I do it?" After serious consideration, I found out that what i really wanted was not what I possessed now, but what i had before. However, what is done cannot be undone and even though I regret my actions now, it is to no avail as I could not possibly go back in time to resolve the matter now. Understanding this, I know that my past is nothing but a piece of my memory now and that I would always live to regret it.